✅ 1. Secure the Environment

☐ Move to the safest available place (away from windows, doors, or active conflict)

☐ Lock doors if appropriate and safe

☐ Turn off unnecessary lights and loud devices

☐ Keep emergency exits clear

✅ 2. Account for Everyone

☐ Confirm all children are with you or accounted for

☐ Keep children close and supervised

☐ Identify a safe adult backup if you become unavailable

✅ 3. Meet Basic Needs First

☐ Provide water and food if available

☐ Ensure children are warm and dressed appropriately

☐ Allow bathroom access before movement or sheltering

✅ 4. Manage Information Exposure

☐ Turn off distressing news or social media around children

☐ Share only simple, age-appropriate information

☐ Reassure children that adults are focused on keeping them safe

✅ 5. Calm the Body and Mind

☐ Speak slowly and calmly

☐ Encourage slow breathing (inhale 4, exhale 6)

☐ Offer comfort items (toy, blanket, book)

☐ Validate feelings: “It’s okay to feel scared. I’m here.”

✅ 6. Prepare for Quick Movement (If Needed)

☐ Grab emergency bag (ID, medications, charger, essentials)

☐ Put shoes on children

☐ Keep phone charged and accessible

☐ Know where you will go next if told to move

✅ 7. Stay Connected

☐ Monitor trusted local updates

☐ Keep emergency contacts accessible

☐ Agree on a simple family signal or plan if separated

✅ 8. Watch for Signs of Distress

☐ Notice changes in behaviour (silence, panic, clinging)

☐ Reduce expectations (no pressure to “be brave”)

☐ Seek help if a child becomes inconsolable or unresponsive

Family Mediation (General)

📌 National Family Mediation (England & Wales)

Main family mediation provider network across England & Wales:

👉 https://www.nfm.org.uk/ 

National Family Mediation

📍 Mediation Voucher Info (Govt scheme)

Details on the £500 Family Mediation Voucher Scheme (government contribution to mediation costs):

👉 https://www.gov.uk/guidance/family-mediation-voucher-scheme 

📍 Find Local Mediators

Search the Family Mediation Council register of accredited mediators:

👉 https://www.familymediationcouncil.org.uk/find-local-mediator/ 

Charity & Independent Mediation Services

📌 Relate (Relationship & Family Mediation)

Offers mediation services including help with child arrangements and separation:

👉 https://www.relate.org.uk/centre/london-north-west-hertfordshire-mid-thames-and-bucks/services/mediation

(They have many regional centres across the UK — search via their main site too.)

📌 Mediate UK (Family Mediation)

Family mediation services including MIAMs and the £500 voucher:

👉 https://www.mediateuk.co.uk/ 

📌 LINK Mediation

Offers family mediation alongside other types (SEND, workplace, community):

👉 https://www.linkmediation.co.uk/ 

📌 Free Family Mediation

A mediation provider offering support with legal aid & child-related mediation:

👉 https://freefamilymediation.co.uk/ 

📌 Mediation4All (Community Services)

Mixed mediation services including family mediation across England & Wales:

👉 https://www.mediation4all.co.uk

If you’re planning to go to court for child arrangements, you must normally attend a MIAM (Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting) first.

Many services offer legal aid or discounted options if you’re on a low income.

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 1. Local Family & Early Help Services

These are often run by your local council or family hubs and give community-level support — including counselling, parenting guidance, and help with reducing parental conflict.

📍 Family Hubs & Early Help Teams

Many local councils provide early-help support for families where conflict is affecting wellbeing, often free and judgement-free. These can include parenting workshops, one-to-one support and family coaches. 

👉 Tip: Search “[your borough] family hub parental support” online or contact your council’s children’s services.

🤝 2. Parent Support Groups

🟢 Home-Start UK

A well-established community network offering peer support groups, volunteer home visits and safe spaces for parents to talk and connect with others. 

Home-Start

👉 https://www.home-start.org.uk/groupsupport 

🟢 Both Parents Matter

A UK charity with support groups, forums and meetings for parents dealing with separation, co-parenting and conflict. 

👉 https://bothparentsmatter.org.uk/ 

📞 3. Helplines & Parenting Advice Services

If you need immediate support, advice or someone to talk to, these free services help parents across the UK:

👉 Family Lives (formerly ParentLine) — info, emotional support and parenting tips

📞 0808 800 2222 (Mon–Fri 9am–9pm; weekends 10am–3pm) 

👉 FamilyLine (Family Action) — emotional support and guidance for families

📞 0808 802 6666 

👉 Scotland: Children First support line

📞 08000 28 22 33 

👉 Northern Ireland: Parenting NI helpline

📞 0808 8010 722 

👩‍🏫 4. Parenting Programmes & Workshops

These can build communication skills and help parents reduce conflict with practical strategies:

📍 Action for Children – Parenting Support

Courses like Incredible Years, HENRY and Parent Talk offer parent coaching, online advice and community support. 

Action for Children

👉 https://www.actionforchildren.org.uk/our-work-and-impact/children-and-families/parenting-support/ 

Action for Children

📍 Reducing Parental Conflict (Local Initiatives)

🧠 5. Specialist Family Support Charities

These offer counselling, practical guidance, group help and family wellbeing services.

📍 Community-based Family Support (e.g., CCP)

Charities like CCP UK provide one-to-one help, parenting workshops and support for families struggling with everyday challenges. 

👉 https://www.ccp.org.uk/family-support/ 

📍 The Change Project

Supports parents with everyday issues including behaviour challenges, relationship stress and emotional support, and connects them to community services. 

👉 https://www.thechange-project.org/supporting-parents/

The Change Project

👩‍⚖️ 6. Contact & Reconnection Services

For parents needing a neutral, safe community space to reconnect with children, there are services such as:

👉 Safe and Together / Families Together Contact Services – supervised contact spaces and positive family connection support. 

📌 How to Access These Supports

Family hubs / early help teams: Contact your local council or NHS Children’s Services.

Home-Start and local groups: Use the online postcode finder to locate peer support near you.

Helplines: Call or use live chat options for immediate guidance.

Parenting programmes: Register online or through local children’s centres

What Contact Centres Are

Child contact centres are neutral, safe meeting places for children to spend time with parents or other family members they don’t live with. They help when communication is difficult or arrangements are uncertain following separation. There are two main types:

Supported contact – a friendly, shared space where families meet; usually free or low cost and NOT closely observed.

Supervised contact – one-to-one supervision, often needed when there are safeguarding concerns; may be free or require a referral from court/CAFCASS. 

NACCC

The National Association of Child Contact Centres (NACCC) is the main UK charity that supports a network of around 350 contact centres across the UK — many run by volunteers. You can search for your nearest centre via their website. 

📍 Examples of Free or Volunteer-Run Contact Centres

These centres typically offer supported contact (free or low cost):

🌟 Volunteer-Run NACCC Accredited Centres

These organisations often operate free or minimal-fee services for contact:

Birmingham Child Contact Centre – safe neutral environment for parents and children to meet, free of charge. 

Worcester Child Contact Centre – volunteer-run supported contact sessions to help maintain relationships.

St Albans Child Contact Centre – volunteer-run supported contact. 

Bristol Child Contact Centre – neutral meeting place; after a small referral fee to NACCC, contact sessions themselves are usually free. 

Tring Child Contact Centre – NACCC-accredited service for supported contact. 

Leicester Family Contact Centre – neutral meeting place overseeing supported contact. 

West Wiltshire Child Contact Centre – volunteer-run supported contact arrangements. 

Chesterfield Child Contact Centre – accredited centre providing contact space for children and parents. 

👉 These kinds of centres are usually free or only ask a nominal admin/referral fee and focus on supported contact where risk is low. They are run by volunteers and use NACCC quality standards. 

🏙️ How to Find One Near You

👉 The NACCC “Find a Centre” search tool is the best way to locate contact centres near you by postcode or town. You can filter by service type (supported, supervised, handover only) and view contact details. 

📌 Other Contact Options & Support

Even when a centre is not nearby or free sessions are limited:

🤝 Support Organisations (Free Advice)

Families Need Fathers – charity with information and support for separated parents, including help with contact arrangements and signposting. 

Family Rights Group – free advice line about contact and supervised contact processes (0808 801 0366).

Citizens Advice – can help clarify legal rights about contact arrangements.

📌 Things to Know

Some centres require a referral (from CAFCASS, a solicitor, local authority or self-referral).

Charges vary: supported contact is often free (or very low cost), whereas supervised contact (professional oversight) may sometimes have fees unless court-ordered or subsidised. 

Some centres also offer handover services (drop-off/pick-up support) without parents meeting. 

Health, Emergency & NHS Support

NHS 111 – Non-emergency health advice (24/7)

Call 111 for urgent health problems that are not life-threatening (medical advice, NHS routing). 

🆘 Mental Health & Emotional Support

These services are free to call from landlines and mobiles:

Samaritans – confidential emotional support anytime, day or night

116 123 (free from any phone) 

Shout – free 24/7 crisis text support (not voice)

Text SHOUT to 85258 

Shout 85258

CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) – support for men

Call 0800 58 58 58 (evenings) 

Mental Health Foundation

Childline – support for young people under 19

0800 1111 (free phone) 

HOPELINE247 (Papyrus) – young suicide prevention support

0800 068 41 41 (check hours online) 

These lines are typically confidential and free from mobiles and landlines within the UK. 

🧑‍🔧 General Advice & Public Support Lines

Citizens Advice Adviceline (England) – help with consumer issues, benefits, debt, jobs, housing and more

0800 144 8848 (free) 

Family & Carer Support

Carers UK – advice for unpaid carers

0800 808 7777 

Family Action (FamilyLine) – support for parents & families

0808 802 6666 

🧳 Migration & Asylum Support

Migrant Help UK – support for asylum seekers

0808 801 0503 (free) 

Refugee Council (for children) –

0808 175 3499 (free)

🧑‍⚖️ Other Useful (Free) Numbers

Non-emergency Police – 101 (free) for non-urgent policing enquiries (not emergencies)

1. Increased Conflict Is Linked to Worse Child Outcomes

🧠 Mental Health & Wellbeing

Higher levels of frequent, intense, and poorly resolved parental conflict are strongly associated with poorer mental health and emotional wellbeing in children across infancy, childhood, adolescence and into adulthood. This includes more anxiety, depression, behavioural difficulties, and emotional insecurity. 

UK Parliament Committees

🧠 Post-Traumatic Stress Symptoms

Among children in high-conflict divorce families, elevated parental conflict has been linked to higher risk of post-traumatic stress symptoms (PTSS), especially when the conflict includes hostility, blame or when children are exposed repeatedly. 

📌 2. Social Development & Behaviour Problems

👥 Feeling “Caught Between” Parents

A meta-analysis of 49 studies (over 23,000 participants) found a significant correlation between interparental conflict and children feeling caught between their parents — a form of psychological distress often linked with poorer adjustment outcomes. 

👩‍👦 Parenting Behaviour Mediates Conflict Effects

Research suggests conflict doesn’t just influence children directly — it also affects how parents interact with their children. Higher conflict frequency is associated with reduced parental warmth and more negative communication, which in turn worsens children’s social and behavioural adjustment. 

Springer

📚 3. School & Academic Performance

Longitudinal research indicates children exposed to frequent, intense interparental conflict tend to show poorer academic outcomes and difficulties in school contexts — even when controlling for other family factors (e.g., socioeconomic status). 

EurekAlert!

📱 4. Broader Developmental and Social Impacts

📉 Attachment & Social Relationships

Higher parental conflict is linked with weaker attachment security, more insecure parent–child relationships, and disruptions in broader social functioning (such as peer relationships and reliance on digital media, which can influence social development). 

Springer

📊 Behavioural Problems

Destructive or poorly resolved conflict (as opposed to constructive dispute resolution) is associated with higher levels of behavioural problems in children, including aggression and emotional insecurity. 

PubMed

🧠 5. Long-Term Life Outcomes (Indirect Effects)

📈 Life Chances & Risk Behaviours

Government reviews in the UK and systematic research broadly suggest:

Conflict is associated with higher risk of mental health challenges, substance use, peer difficulties, and educational underachievement.

Long-term life chances — including future relationship quality, employability, and general wellbeing — are negatively impacted by ongoing high conflict environments. 

GOV.UK 

🧠 6. Constructive vs Destructive Conflict Matters

It’s not the existence of conflict per se — how it’s handled makes a difference:

Conflict Type

Children’s Experiences

Constructive conflict (problem-solving, calm resolution)

Linked with better emotional security and fewer behaviour problems. 

PubMed

Destructive conflict (hostile, unresolved, aggressive)

Linked with emotional insecurity, behavioural issues, and negative outlooks. 

PubMed

🧠 Key Mechanisms Identified in Research

Researchers have pointed to several mechanisms by which high parental conflict affects children:

Emotional insecurity – children feel unstable, unsafe or unsure in their family environment. 

UK Parliament Committees

Triangulation – feeling caught between parents – increases relational stress and loyalty conflicts. 

OUP Academic

Changes in parenting behaviour – parents in conflict may be less warm, more negative, and less consistently responsive. 

Springer

Academic and social spillover – conflict at home affects behaviour and performance in school and peer contexts. 

EurekAlert!

📌 Summary

High and frequent parental conflict — especially when unresolved or destructive — is consistently linked to:

poorer mental health and emotional wellbeing,

greater behaviour and social difficulties,

academic challenges,

increased risk of trauma symptoms,

and diminished long-term life chances. 

GOV.UK